I ran across this quote today. It fit my mood, and it reminded me of a glaring omission in my first entry on the value of self interest. I encouraged everyone to throw off the shackles of guilt and become self interested...because doing so would serve the interests of your communities and our "shrinking" world. But reading it over again I realized I had left out a crucial element that hinges the whole idea together: RESPONSIBILITY. Acting out of self interest will eventually serve us all because we truly share so many interests as humans habitating the whole of this earth. While this is true, we must still take responsibility for the outcome of our own interests...the promises we make and the actions we take. Although this omission wasn't a "lie" by definition, I still gladly take responsibility and offer you a genuine, "I'm sorry." And I try to remind myself regularly that if I can't be honest with the people I love, then I'm not being honest with myself. Self delusion is the worst possible existence. It would be my Hell.
We've all made promises before we couldn't keep. As my Dad used to remind me, "don't write a check your butt can't cash." Yet it's inevitable that it's going to happen. Things happen. Circumstances change. And we've all watched passions and commitments die a variety of deaths. But it's how we respond to our inability "to come through" or our simple change of heart that matters. Take responsibility. Own up to breaking a promise and have the dignity and self respect to take responsibility for it. Whether your self interest led you to volunteer for an organization you thought you had time for...but didn't, or it encouraged you to buy something it turned out you couldn't pay for, or if you got caught up "in the moment" and promised your kid or someone else you loved you'd do something that you lost interest in, be honest enough with them and yourself to explain how and why it happened. In all those instances we served our own interest when you made the commitment in the first place. We gained the initial reward in some way, but left those who were relying on you hanging. They will be offended and they will hold grudges, no matter how much they claim "it's no big deal". And ultimately, what hurts you the most, is that they will lose trust in you. They won't count on you. And you will slowly fall out of their sphere of interest. Do this enough and you drift through life never getting respect and never having anyone else you can count on anymore either. It's a tired phrase, but it's lasted because it's true: "all you have is your word". Everything else in life is fleeting.
This ties directly back in to how we coexist on local, national and global levels. The Baltasar quote I led with speaks volumes, but for too long we have actually embraced an "official lie" on the larger state, national and global levels. Hell, in Illinois (where I unfortunately live) we kept saying we weren't bankrupt for how long? That somehow people living would actually pay off the debt rather than passing it along to the unborn. That was a lie. A huge lie. Calling it anything else today is just continuing that lie. Our politicians at every level have been doing the same for decades on other issues, yet each election cycle hordes of people join together to join the circus we call elections and buy in to the "identity" of some documented liar to be our new "leader"...for the good of the people of course. So Baltasar underestimated the power of mass psychology, the power of big media and centralized education and peer pressure in general to prop up the image of "integrity" despite lie after lie after lie. But that is ending...credibility is vanishing. Another one of those things we all sort of sense now, you know?
It's not going to get fixed by electing some new person whose new lies make us feel better. Lord knows I wish it could. But that doesn't matter. Each of us have the power to start changing it all right now by getting our own house in order. Start being real with ourselves. Start being honest to the ones we love. Confucious placed this personal power over the larger "whole" in context when he said, "The strength of a nation derives from the integrity of the home." That's empowering. And it's honest. If we can't be honest and sincere with those we claim to love than how can we ever hope to reconfigure the world and have one that no longer promotes hypocrisy...a world where the "ends" no longer justify the "means"? But because each of us can decide to take responsibility going forward, things can change. And if we just start being honest with every special person in our lives, it will. And while the results of this action may not be obvious in our states, or in our nations, or in our world overnight (or even in our own lifetimes), we will see the fruits of our labor in our own homes and in the most important relationships immediately.
This ties directly back in to how we coexist on local, national and global levels. The Baltasar quote I led with speaks volumes, but for too long we have actually embraced an "official lie" on the larger state, national and global levels. Hell, in Illinois (where I unfortunately live) we kept saying we weren't bankrupt for how long? That somehow people living would actually pay off the debt rather than passing it along to the unborn. That was a lie. A huge lie. Calling it anything else today is just continuing that lie. Our politicians at every level have been doing the same for decades on other issues, yet each election cycle hordes of people join together to join the circus we call elections and buy in to the "identity" of some documented liar to be our new "leader"...for the good of the people of course. So Baltasar underestimated the power of mass psychology, the power of big media and centralized education and peer pressure in general to prop up the image of "integrity" despite lie after lie after lie. But that is ending...credibility is vanishing. Another one of those things we all sort of sense now, you know?
It's not going to get fixed by electing some new person whose new lies make us feel better. Lord knows I wish it could. But that doesn't matter. Each of us have the power to start changing it all right now by getting our own house in order. Start being real with ourselves. Start being honest to the ones we love. Confucious placed this personal power over the larger "whole" in context when he said, "The strength of a nation derives from the integrity of the home." That's empowering. And it's honest. If we can't be honest and sincere with those we claim to love than how can we ever hope to reconfigure the world and have one that no longer promotes hypocrisy...a world where the "ends" no longer justify the "means"? But because each of us can decide to take responsibility going forward, things can change. And if we just start being honest with every special person in our lives, it will. And while the results of this action may not be obvious in our states, or in our nations, or in our world overnight (or even in our own lifetimes), we will see the fruits of our labor in our own homes and in the most important relationships immediately.
This post reminded me of Hamlet's quote: "To thine own self be true." But for the most part I think that quote can me misconstrued as license to be selfish...not self-interested. But I stumbled on this quote which I like much better by George Bernard Shaw:
ReplyDelete"Life isn't about finding yourself; Life is about creating yourself."
Which I think implies we have the ability to create our realities, in the private and public spheres; meaning we can choose to be honest or not..
Meaning it's never too late to do the right thing.